Whenever I tell my friends about the previous story, I always get “aww”s or “that’s so sad”. Previously my initial thought was nonchalance but deep down I was a tad annoyed.
I later found out that she and the other musketeer had been going out, without me, which I thought okay that’s fine, I’m not going to be a petty little human. However the other musketeer’s reasoning was that it was difficult to find a time to meet up with everyone and that’s when I knew I was being excluded. She became quite defensive and if I’m correct, finding a time to meet up requires sending out an invitation, which I never received.
If you’re reading this and you’re thinking wow she is so hung up over this, you would be correct, initially I was. I hadn’t done anything wrong yet musketeer 1 was taking musketeer 2 from me. But what I came to realise was that no one was taking anything, I instead were pushing them both away.
Why? not out of frustration or hostility but out of maturity. Obviously after the boat experience, I realised that I really was too lazy to work on us and our personalities were just too different (we had been in out of our friendship for a good 7 years). As for musketeer 2 well, whilst school kept us together, uni was a whole new world. A world that allowed me to realise we had absolutely nothing in common other than education (It was the only thing we talked about and I hated talking about uni outside of uni hours). So we talked less and less and before I knew it I had subconsciously walked away from our trio.
I say subconsciously because I really didn’t realise I had done it. Until I found out that the other 2 had gone to Melbourne together, and reformed the group with 2 additional members (who we had sort of not seen upon graduating high school). At that point I realised I was well and truly out.
I don’t know if time has found a way to fix things or I am well and truly maturing (getting old) but I think I’m okay with it now. I feel … at peace. I don’t want this to sound sadistic but I’m also happy. I’m happy that I now know what true friendship is. Where I feel comfortable and if not excited to see certain faces everyday. Where I can tell them absolutely everything without judgement and receive ridiculous advice (do it for the lols she said *insert eyeroll). What really drove it home was that despite being overseas, other friends insisted on a birthday outing and buying me a gift, where as amongst the first group I received 1 birthday wish. Another friend even personally dm’d me, even though I had not seen him in months.
I’m not salty, really! Personally I think its priorities. If they were your true friends, they’d put you first. They’d see you straight after work with 10 minutes notice, they would have dinner with you even if their parents say no (love your parents guys). To put it simply you would be on their mind as a priority and if you’re not, well I think its time to move on. Don’t fear the process, it’s an inevitable part of growing up.
|| Photos from Rose Bay