Friendships

artflow_201702021433After editing I realised this got way too long. So if you’re interested in the build up and the story behind it, feel free to keep reading. But I wanted to post here, to reflect on this experience, which will be in the next post.

Three has always been an odd number (get it, get it) but no seriously, its a terrible number. I don’t know how the 3 musketeers managed it but 1 person will always be left out. I used to think that would never be me. Against everyone’s advice one of these musketeers and I decided to go on a 9 day cruise, just me and her. (The third one wasn’t interested)

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Whilst time has a way of mending things it also has a way of changing your perspective. Now before this trip, we ran together frequently to get to know each other better (which, looking back, I think worked against us) and we set down guidelines. If we were to get fed up with each other we could go off and do our own thing. We were to always tell each other when we were annoyed so the other person would be aware. However, like all things this was easier said than done. To this day I don’t know if this trip was what really broke our relationship because she never voiced her feelings.

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What I do know is how I feel. By the 5th day I was getting sick of just talking to her. I knew too much about her and there was really nothing to talk about, we’d run out of conversations. Naturally there were about 500 other people on this boat and I didn’t mind talking to a fresh face. My friend however, seemed to be allergic to new people. I knew we were both introverted before this trip but I didn’t realise she was that reluctant to have spontaneous conversations. So whenever we sat at a table for dinner (we usually had to share a table) she would be silent. Totally fine by the way, but when she had something to add to the conversation she would only talk to me; she’d lean in and mumble it to me. I don’t know about others but one of my pet peeves is 2 people having their own conversation in a group setting. (I mean what are you hiding that you can’t share with the rest of us). So I got really uncomfortable, finished up dinner fast and excused ourselves. This continued for the remaining 4 days. I think my frustrations were rising to the surface because we exchanged very limited, disgruntled sentences, only when necessary. Unfortunately I never found out why she was fed up with me and this continued till the day we departed.

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Several other occasions also added fuel to the fire, including getting lost on one of the islands, miscommunications about where we were meeting up and how we drained each others toiletries (Basically she used HALF, HALF my full bottle of shampoo in the course of 9 days and didn’t bring enough toothpaste, so I felt like I was getting ripped off; petty I know), money issues (I have no idea why but she exchanged her money, without asking me and implied that she was doing me a favour. Despite our research saying that AUD was accepted on the islands AND the AUD prices on the island turned out to be cheaper than her exchange rate. Then she lowered the exchange rate on me when I had to pay her back at the end of the trip; I was definitely not going to pay for her mistakes).

In the end we were glad to be going home and getting away from each other (I think the feeling was mutual). I don’t remember but I think we tried to continue running afterwards but I wasn’t really interested and I haven’t contacted her since.

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|| Ironically photos taken at the garden of friendship

▷ Pier St, Sydney NSW 2000
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Friendships

7 thoughts on “Friendships

  1. I guess it’s a good thing you found out sooner rather than later that she wasn’t on the same wavelength as you. Still, it’s a bit of a bummer when friendships don’t work out… well, you two did work out but I meant in the other way, lol…

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  2. Oh, that’s a bummer. Sad that this friendship didn’t work out but I wouldn’t judge her for being so silent in a bigger group of people. I sometimes am that person. It’s very hard to strike a conversation when you’re a huge introvert and don’t know how to do it.

    -Leta | The Nerdy Me

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    1. Oh no no, I don’t mind that she was silent. I totally get what you mean, in fact normally I don’t even start conversations I just chime in. It was more the fact that she kept speaking to me, which incited a lot of curious stares at the table (generally people want to know what you’re whispering about) and made me very uncomfortable.

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